Social Media Hopscotch

Hopscotch. When was the last time you played? I took my kids to the art museum this past summer and when we stepped off the elevator, we stepped onto a grid. One block, then two, then one, then two, then one. My daughter blew through it. On a single leg she hopped then landed on two. Hopped and landed. Depending on if she was looking down at the grid or around at her brothers determined how smoothly she got through the course.

The five year olds of course stumbled through it, unaware of the single or doubles, they breezed through the course the way they saw fit. And who cared anyways, it was just for fun.

I've been reluctant to write this piece because I think it gets too personal fast. Maybe for you, maybe for me. Maybe when you hear Facebook or Instagram you roll your eyes and say who cares. Maybe your self discipline is so perfectly in tact that you can breeze through the course no problem. I mean, who cares anyways, time on social media is just for fun.

Or maybe you have days when you aren't on top of your game. Your eyelids pop open, you reach for your phone and before you even rub your eyes, you are scrolling.

You’re doing the scroll that can hurt you or help you. The scroll that dictates your emotions or your responses. The worst is when the scroll starts to make your otherwise wonderful life look dull or not enough. 

I mean, this is not a new idea - the scroll and the damage it does. Depression and anxiety has been linked to it. Dissatisfaction. Disappointment. Pain. Certainly Facebook wasn’t originally created to do damage. Wasn’t it just to keep your missionary friend in Africa connected to his parents or your long-lost best friend from preschool at the forefront of your mind? Like breezing through a hopscotch grid, this is Facebook in its purest form. You jump, you land, you jump, you land. It can be fun and satisfying.

But some days, you fall off and over and miss the square altogether because you start internalizing someone else’s life as though it’s better than your own.

Like a kid standing at the start of a hopscotch course, tossing a rock to see where it lands, we stand before social media and toss our heart out to see where it lands. How does what we have going on compare to someone else’s? How far into the abyss will we allow ourselves to hop before we realize we’ve fallen of course?

I love social media. I credit much of it for how I survived being stuck at home with twin babies. It was a way to reach out and feel connected to friends in similar positions. But I’m in a different place now, those babies grew up and need a mom who looks at them, not a scalp buried in a screen. Which is why I try to change the course before I even log on by asking myself:

What else can I do before I get online?

When was the last time I called my sister? My mom?

Is there laundry in the dryer that needs folding?

Have I finished the piece that I started writing last week?

Am I thankful for all that I have?

Is there a book about a skill I want to learn?

Unlike a good run through a hopscotch course, you don’t have to leave your destination up to the rock you’ve thrown to dictate where and how far you go on social media. Before you log on, take back ownership of your real, beautiful, blessed life — and only start the scroll when you’re ready to celebrate the beautiful lives of those you find online, too.

Image outside the Philadelphia Art Museum (obviously a hopscotch pic would make more sense.)